The need for keeping one’s temper under control
Temper can be defined as the mental vibrations in consonance with the external events which touch our senses. The reaction may be calm and quiet or violent. When one is subject to sudden conclusions of mental reactions to externals he is said to be temperamental. In such cases reason which helps one to keep poise is either absent or fails to help the subject.
Temper is a matter of training. It is the domestic environment that is responsible for the development of temper in children. The child may be pampered and wants to have his will and when he is not satisfied he flies into tempers. There is much more so in the case of a child who is lonely and who has no brothers and sisters; or again the child may be petted by all those around him he may become a spoiled child subject to tempers. This is how man grows to be temperamental.
To keep up one’s temper requires a lot of insight into things. Simply because certain things happen in certain ways not to the liking of the subject, it is no reason why one should fly into a temper. There are innumerable occasions when things go wrong in spite of perhaps careful preparation and so on. To quote an instance, one may be in a hurry to open a lock; in spite of the key being there it takes some time before the lock is opened. In between, the person may lose his temper. Very often we find people standing in a queue getting bored and so losing their temper. Unless one applies his reason calmly to know why certain things are happening the way they do, he is likely to lose his temper. When we say ‘he’ it includes ‘she’ also. Of course she is more subject to tempers than he. Those who are in the higher rungs of society appear to be more subject to temper than those at the lowest rung. It may be because the former assumes that things should be as they please simply because they command. One very common instance would suffice to bring home the point. One is in a hurry to dress and to go and attend a function or meeting. At the last minute he takes out a shirt from the cabinet and finds out to his chagrin either the shirt has been torn by the washerman or the buttons are missing. He could have avoided the problem had he but given thought to it before.
When one loses one’s temper it leads to many undesirable consequences. One is easily upset, with the blood circulation going quicker using angry words and offending others. In extreme cases it leads to a nervous breakdown and it may be sometime before the subject comes to the normal self. Such a person may lose friends, lose the sympathy and cooperation of servants. He may upset the peace and calm at home. He may prove a poor executive and in the mart he may create enemies. A man of temper is prone to commit crimes.
Then how to control oneself and keep up the mental poise ? This requires training in introspection. No use of fretting and fuming over spilt milk. Reason should dictate how to avoid it the next time the unexpected does happen, then there is no meaning in losing one’s temper. In routine affairs, with regular planning, things may be made to move smoothly without jolt or hitch; everything in its proper place and everything in its proper time. If one were to follow this there may be few occasions for losing one’s temper.
One should develop his faculty of reasoning; then he could easily keep his temper under control. It is also a matter of philosophy as in the case of stoics. There is a classical case of temper under control. In the Battle of Philippines, Brutus and Cassius quarreled and Brutus called Cassius names. That was quite unusual of Brutus. Cassius himself felt that it had come to that extent. Then some friends nearby whispered into the cars of Cassius that Portia, the dear wife of Brutus had been dead. Any one other than Brutus would have burst into tears, torn his hair and so on’ but he never did any such thing. When Cassius heard it he could only say ‘sorry.’
By keeping one’s temper under control one saves a nervous breakdown. His friends and relatives would like him. He is saved from wrong judgment which he arrives at when he loses his temper.
A man who can keep his temper is a sweet person. He is happy and makes others happy. He illumines the company where he is found. He will never be subject to a nervous breakdown So let us learn to keep our temper under control.
